As if I needed something else to fuel my aggression

So i've done it. I joined the Texas State Women's Rugby team. Let me just say that this is probably what i've been waiting for my entire life. This is exactly what i've been looking for in a WOMEN'S sport. None of this "non contact" bullshit. This is aggressive and this is going to get real. I'm going to start practicing with them this semester, though the way my schedule worked out really isn't good. Once I get work and my new schedule worked out for next semester, things will be different and I can devote the appropriate amount of time and attention to my new hobby.

I find it amusing that in most respects, I would rather be left to my own devices to figure out and complete, but in other respects, I would much rather do it in the company of other people. I've also come to the conclusion that my life is one contradiction after another and I do things that confuse even myself. I can't really explain why, I just have certain preferences one way for something, and another way for something else.

I think it'll be nice to just get back into a team sport. I miss marching band. I miss the camaraderie that came with spending almost every minute of your waking life with the same people day in and day out for months at a time. I miss the road trips, I miss the competition and most of all I miss pushing myself to my physical limitations. Sure, working truck has some of that, but we cycle through people so fast sometimes, its hard to really get to know or even care about some of those people. It's gotten to the point where after just working with someone for a short time, I can tell that they aren't going to make it. Some people lack the physical ability to endure moving tens of thousands of pounds of metal, some people lack a mental capacity to even complete some of the simplest tasks (seriously, how hard is it to remember to drop a box upside down?). I'm not saying that this new venture isn't going to have these problems, but at least the people here a more committed to it (hell, the paid dues, why not care?) where as the other aforementioned parties can just quit or not show up at all.

Honestly, I think this is going to make me really happy. Hopefully I don't end up breaking something. The only thing I plan on breaking are my enemy's souls.

Life in San Marcos may not be as miserable as I once feared after all.